xanga

back and forth go my feelings toward kristin. I am very much lost with the fact that i do or don’t like her. I seriously don’t know what to do anymore but kill myself. it drives me crazy thinking about her so much, when in fact i know beyond a shadow of a soubt that she doesn’t feel the same. But what is this ugly gut feeling that makes me feel differently. There hasn’t been anybody that i could just feel so well alive with.
no seriously i cannot find anyone else that makes me smile like the way she makes me smile.
god i just want to shoot myself sometimes.
almost everybody i know has a girlfriend and i am just being left out in the dust. it driving me nuts
ARGHHH
can i shoot myself now
please

myke

xanga

so i am just sitting here watching love actually
thinking of what to write down for my litearary critisim paper
Love actually will not actually help me with this paper since it is on feminism

Having said that
i have had no inspiration what so ever. Once again Hugh Grants character reminds me a bit of myself
since i cannot say the right things when i want to, and when i want to it isn’t at the right time which is me infront of a mirror or a wall.
Screaming at myself saying WTF you idiot.

So writing this paper is a problem, calling people hasn’t helped. I tried to jump from sided to side in very small strides and that hasn’t provided any inspiration.

i necessarily can’t scream out now b/c it is near midnight and i don’t want to wake anyone.

i stared up for around 4 hours trying to think of what and why a woman wouldn’t want to marry or date a man that is given to them. they want to date who they want to date or marry who they want to mmarry.
it seems to simple yet i want to expand on that. Make it more elaborate. Shinier than such a mediocore product. I want to be able to sell it. make it like gold.
Maybe i am asking to much from myself.
just maybe. do you fellow readers think i am asking to much of myself for making a simple paper much more polished and grander. i mean it is only a proposal

well i feel like throwing myself over a bridge now
can i do that tommorow afternoon please

myke

xanga

a little easy breathing for me.  I got a 47/50 on my Literary Criticism paper.  So now i have to work on my art project; it has to do something with the enviroment and how to change it.  werid.  So i am making a tree with nuclear power thingies on the bottom then cars as the body and other hazardous stuff as the leaves.  He wants to be enviromentally friendly or something i guess.  lol i would of done another lyric book, but i guess that wouldn’t be productive or fun now would it.  Tommorow i have all day to work on things, and knowing me i probably would take the lazy appoarch and not do anything, but i seriously have to get cracking and do my hw and other projects. 

so Kristin and i are really cool now.  Why i keep saying this i don’t know.  we’ve always been great and happy as friends.  but still the idea of us being a couple still lingers in hte back of my mind. 

I love “bones” by the killers btw.

Lakers lost

I think my fantasy team rocks

I got

Chris Paul at PG
Richard Hamliton at SG
Jason Kidd at G
Peja Stojakovic at SF
Udnois Haslem at PF
Mike Miller at F
Marcus Camby at C
Chris Kamen at C
Vince Carter at Ult
Elton Brand at Ult
Chris Wilcox on the BN
Sam Cassel on the BN
Ben Gordon on the BN

and that is my private league team
anywhos work all day tommorow
and play all day tuesday lol
ttyl

myke

xanga

hey so I am a little flipped out. The whole school thing is a little difficult this year. I just have to keep up with the good work and keep getting good grades on the quizzes.
graduate in a year. I want to do well, and become a teacher and hopefully i cann do that. It’s just been a little frustrating lately
hopefully the essay i am getting tommorow will be to my liking and i can see things on the upside.

So here is me getting emotional

I still want to have someone to care for

the end

yeah anyways i think i am going to end it. nothing happened so far
besides Jamie Cullum with Andini which was something i needed to get school off my mind.

myke